The Commandment to Make Your Spouse Number 2 in Your Life!


I’m sure I got your attention with the title! Actually, the commandment is to make your spouse Number 1 in your life. The spouse only becomes number 2 if we include the Savior in the equation as He is always Number 1!

Anyway, I came across a Blog whose title made me read the whole article. I give the Blogger 100% for a very catchy title, but I think the article itself lacks something. What is that something? Let me put it this way: When I do my trainings and the participants are not able to give me the best answer to a question, I tell them it’s more like Halo- Halo without the ice cream on top – it’s almost there, but just almost, not there! Something is lacking.

So I’m writing this, because somehow I know what was missing in the article. Now some who might have read the article will argue with me with my stand on the matter, but then I’d politely ask: read mine first and then tell me what you think later.

For those who may not know this, in the scriptures married couples are commanded to “cleave unto their spouse and none else”. This is found in Genesis 2:24: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

This means that when a man and a woman marry, they are to make their spouses the number 1 in their lives. Each partner is commanded to leave parents and siblings behind and the two are to start a new family together, as husband and wife.  Literally this means living in a separate house and building a new home for their new family.

This commandment also means that nothing, and I mean nothing, should take precedence over the wife or the husband. This means that if you are a wife, your husband should be the most important person in your life, and vice versa.  If you have children, the husband (if you are the wife) doesn’t fall down the ladder of hierarchy just because your baby needs more of your time and attention. I have been there, and I do not see any problem with this. I love my husband as much as I love my children, and between them, there is no competition. My love for my husband does not in any way take away or lessen my love for my children, and my love for my children has never, ever, reduced my love for my husband.

Now how about our love for our parents?

For me it is the same. I don’t see any competition between the two. I love my parents very much, and my being with my husband and children has not reduced that love. Yes, with my own family I cannot spend as much time with my parents anymore, but I love them now more than ever, now that I truly understand how it is to be a parent. My gratitude for them is will be eternal, and I can never repay them for all that they have given me. They have raised me to the best way they know how. What more can I ask?

Married couples are counseled that when they have misunderstandings (and I assure you they will have more than enough in their lifetime), they should settle it between themselves. They can go to their parents for counsel, but just that.

The commandment is given by the Lord because He knows that somehow, somewhere in our very busy lives other things can lead us into roads or paths which will eventually make us lose sight of what matters most. These are work, sports, recreational activities, hobbies, friends, associations, organizations, advocacy, and many other things which, at first glance, are not really harmful by themselves alone. Here’s a good example. Think about money! Money is not evil; it is the love for money and the resulting greed and pride that makes it evil. In the same manner, those mentioned above can, such as sports activities that consumes too much of a person’s time (unless he or she is a professional athlete), lead people away from what matters most.

Why is it important to make our spouses number 1 in our lives?

Because being in a loving relationship with someone makes life more beautiful and meaningful;

Because we need a true friend in this life and our spouse should be that one true friend who loves us unconditionally and we love unconditionally in return;

Because our spouses will help us achieve our greatest potential;

And lastly, because this life is the time to nurture the kind of relationship designed to perpetuate into the eternities, together, forever.

Photo Credit: nuttakit/


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