I am not sure how I came to be Mommy for all my friends, young and old. But I don’t mind, really. In fact, I am happy about it because it means I have a unique opportunity to be of help to them any time, any place.
One ordinary day, a very young lady friend came up to me and asked a very innocent but sincere question.
She asked: “‘My, is it possible to love someone even if you hardly know the person?”
It took me sometime to respond. The question struck me as something that is so important and I told myself I have to be careful with my answer; my very young lady friend came to me hoping to know the truth and I have to answer it truthfully. I said a silent prayer and asked Heavenly Father to help me say the right words. Of course I knew the answer but I needed to say it the best possible way so as to convince her that what I was about to say was true.
I began by asking her a few questions:
How long have you known this person?
Why do you suspect that it is love that you’re feeling?
What is it exactly that you feel towards this person?
Do you think the feeling between the two of you is mutual? If yes, what made you say that it is? If it’s not, how does that make you feel?
Then I told her this …
Of the many things I have learned about love, one thing I know is true – love takes time to grow. Why? Try to read what the bible said about love. This may sound cliché but the scripture describes what true love is:
Love suffers long and is kind;
Love does not envy;
Love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
Does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;
Does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Then I asked her … “Can you really do all these, feel all these, expect all these, give all these, to someone you hardly know?” I saw sadness in her beautiful light brown eyes . I saw something there which prompted me to ask another question. “What’s bothering you? I asked”.
Then she said in a soft, hushed voice … “Mommy Tina, why is it that when I see him and hear his voice, my heart seems to run faster than normal? Then when I smell his perfume or cologne, or when he’s near me and when he smiles at me, I would feel very very happy? And I like it when he’s around, always. I even love to always looks at his pictures … That’s not love?”
I was tongue-tied for a moment and I did not know how to respond. I had to admit I was a bit tickled with the idea of teenage crushes. But I had to give her the right answer because it was my responsibility as her adult friend.
I told her gently … “My dear, what you’re feeling is what people call a crush. It’s also called infatuation, and you know what? That feeling is normal. All normal human beings will experience feeling that because that’s part of growing up. But that’s not love yet. Love is much deeper than that. In time you will understand, because you know what? Time is one of the best teachers in life. For now, take it slow. Take good care of yourself and remember the standards that you promised to keep. Enjoy the company of good friends and don’t steady date yet, especially with your crush. Keep your emotions in check and always remember your goal to marry for time and eternity. Marry the one you truly love, in the right place, with the right authority, in God’s given time. When is that? When you’re done with your education, when you’ve matured emotionally and spiritually (just enough to say that you are already a responsible single adult), and when you have found the person you want to spend the rest of eternity with. Go out and do group dates! That’s the best way to get to know your friends more. But do not commit to someone just yet because you are still too young. Wait for the right time.
And remember what we’ve been taught about knowing true love from its counterfeit? With true love, you will be inspired to be good and to do good! With true love, dili ka mamakak sa imong parents. Dili mo mag buhat og dautan. You will respect each other
and take good care of each other … and more importantly, you want the best for each other.
It was a long discussion, but I felt good afterwards. I’m glad she came to me for advice.
I’m glad we’re friends. We parted ways with a tight hug. I hope and pray my young friend will someday find the young man who will make her feel the princess that she truly is … a special daughter of a kind loving Father in Heaven.