“Marriage isn’t about “meeting in the middle” or splitting everything 50/50. That’s what Divorce is about! Marriage must be 100/100. It is both husband and wife giving all they have to give, love, serve and provide for each other. Even when one spouse is not “pulling his or her weight”, one has to continue to fulfill his or her vows and give the other half the best. Giving up on each other is simply not an option nor is it part of the equation.”
I’ve come across the same teaching from a manual I used while teaching Dating, Courtship, and Marriage in the Institute a few years back. I also remember writing something about it – something that I never got to finish. So I went about and looked for the unfinished document, and here it is:
What Will Make A Marriage Work?
Well, I read somewhere that in order for a marriage to work, it requires 100% of everything – love, patience, understanding, humility, sacrifice, etc. Thus, for a marriage to work, both partners – husband and wife – must each give 100% of those enumerated above.
Why 100% each? Why not just 50% so that the other 50% will be left to the individual? For his/her dignity and self love?
Well, let’s look at it this way…
For the sake of argument let’s take the 50%. Let’s just say that you want your marriage to work, so you give your full 50%. But then for reasons known only to him or her, your spouse gives only 40%. So how much will your marriage have? Let’s do the math: your 50% and his/her 40%, that’s 90%! 90% however is less than 100% … so the marriage will have a 90% chance that it will work!
What if we go with the 100%? Let’s do some simple math again. If you give your 100%, whether your spouse will give 100% or just 50% … or even less, because you still gave your full 100%, your marriage will have the greatest chance to work because the 100% is there!
I’m sure a lot of people will not agree with this. Some will think and shout “it’s unfair!” …. “it’s one-sided”, etc. My answer? Maybe …
But I know a few marriage relationships that has survived through the years only because one spouse has decided to give the 100% … no matter what.
The question then is this: do you love him or her enough for you to give your 100% and not expect anything in return?
Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest on reciprocity.
(Photo Credit: LDS Touching Lives)