To My Young Friends: How Will You Know If It Is Love You’re Feeling?

I always tell my students (I teach Preparing for Eternal Marriage course on in a local Institute of Religion) a simple fact on what happens when a person is totally engulfed in an emotion generally described as infatuation: more often than not, the reason for the attraction is difficult to describe. When infatuated, one finds it almost impossible to pinpoint to a single reason for the attraction.

Here’s a common scenario between two or more friends where one friend asks: what do you like in him/her?  The response is almost always like this: “I’m not really sure. He/she just makes me happy, and I like being with him/her!” … or something like this: “I like his/her eyes. They sort of like ‘speak’!”.

To the one who gave the answer, it’s the truth; it’s his or her reality. Ironically, to the friends or the people around, they find the answer or reason given questionable, most especially if the person being described is, in the perception of the many, not as he/she was described. Then the famous adage: “if you can only borrow my eyes!”. So what then?  Well, as most adults will say, infatuation is a fleeting feeling. It is fleeting (or does not stay long) simply because the reason for the attraction is very shallow.

Then the next question comes: how will one know if what he or she is feeling is true or real love? The answer is best described by David O. McKay when he said: ” My mother once said that if you meet a person in whose presence you feel a desire to achieve, who inspires you to do your best, and to make the most of yourself, such a person is worthy of your love and is awakening love in your heart”.

The Lord’s counsel is simple when it comes to dating, courtship, and in finding the best person for an eternal relationship: prepare well for the best person who will come into your life by becoming the best person yourself! As the counsel suggests: as important as finding the right person is being the right person. Indeed there is truth to the teaching that says “light attracts light”; “intelligence attracts intelligence” …

Lastly, always remember that all of us have a choice; and so when making a decision, most especially on the MOST important decision you will ever do in this life (finding your eternal companion),  make sure that you make a conscious decision, made following the teachings of the gospel as taught by the Lord through His prophets. 







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