What Now?

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A beautiful garden blooming under the gentle rays of the sun, a paper needing to be written, a place waiting to be visited, a project needing finishing touches, a community service project needing help and support …

I am nearing my golden years and lately I have been having these sad thoughts lingering in my mind (and if I may add, my heart) about the coming years. One by one surely my children will be getting married or will be choosing to pursue their careers somewhere far and we will be left by ourselves … (just thinking about it is making me cry already), and I cannot help but ask “what then?” Will our lives be all about waiting for them to come and visit us? Will our days be filled with loneliness and looking back to the happy days past?

I hope not.

Ironically, we weren’t taught in our younger years about what we’re supposed to do when we get old. It wasn’t part of our college education. Our parents, God bless them, when we were growing up, we’re very busy working to provide for our needs and I am sure they too, did not think so much about themselves getting old as each day came and went. Just like me now, the thought came “like a thief in the night” – unexpected, surprising, disconcerting, and it brings with it sadness.

Which made me write this.

I know God did not plan for us to be always miserable, sad, and unhappy. He wants us to be happy. But he wants us to experience both happiness and sadness because He wants us to learn a lesson that in life opposites are important so that we will choose all those that will make us happy. In saying this I remember the 3rd sister named Glad in the story The Three Sisters: “Glad lived joyfully not because her circumstances were joyful but because she was joyful.” God is encouraging us have a happy heart, a grateful soul in whatever situation we are in.

God, in His infinite wisdom and power also wants us to go through sorrow and pain (and happiness too) so that we will know how to empathize with those who are going through tough times in their lives.

Life is better if it is planned, and starting where we are is better than not planning at all. The cynics will always say that it is impossible to plan life because we do not know what is in store for us in the future. Sure, nobody knows what tomorrow brings but for me, now, I would rather had a plan than no plan at all. I’ll take it one day at a time and as to what the future holds? Isn’t it wonderful to sleep at night and look forward to what’s in store the following day?

So what now?

I’ll make sure that I will have something to look forward to every single day, and they don’t have to be big things. A new flower garden perhaps, or a new set of window curtains for my home or for a friend’s house. I can learn how to sew dresses and pajamas for my girls. Or for their friends or my friends too!

This I realized – life has to have a purpose and a meaning bigger than myself. I should have a reason to wake up every morning and be excited about what life is in store for me one day at a time.

A beautiful garden blooming under the gentle rays of the sun, a paper needing to be written, a place waiting to be visited, a project needing finishing touches, a community service project needing help and support, a date with my sweetheart … there’s so much to do, and I will pray to God that I will always, always have the eyes to see them.

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